The Thrifty Gamer

My boy doesn't want one video game or one video game console, he wants the Nintendo, the Sony and the Xbox and he wants all the games that go with it. He also wants access to the computer so that he can play games on the computer as well. It is as if he is plugged into these games all the time, at least he would like to be if allowed. Video games are big business, with over $13 billion spent each year on video and computer games. This suggests that an awful lot of playing is going on. New releases of games are eagerly anticipated by players and many are willing to stand in line for a day or two to get hold of a new system or spend hours hunting down a new release. Unquestionably, video games are attractive toys, particularly to boys.

Undoubtedly, parents have been concerned for a long time about the consuming nature of video games. Hours spent in front of a screen, in the dark if possible "can't be healthy" for a child. The encouragement to play or more traditional board game or to even go outside and play is something any boy of the electronic age has heard in response to his desire to play his electronic games. But is there any danger in video games? It is possible to overdo any activity, even good ones. One can sleep too much, exercise excessively and certainly we can eat too much hence it is without question possible to play video games in excess. But defining excess can be difficult. Clearly, three to four hours a day every day would be viewed as excessive by most, but what about three to four hours on the weekend? Should we count it only if they are played straight through or even if there are sizable chunks of time in between sessions? Is it excessive if there is no real demonstrative impact on the child and his behavior, attitudes and performance? There is also the variability within children to consider, some will be affected more easily by gaming than others.

There is growing evidence that video games can be both good and bad. Video games can teach certain skills such as cooperation, strategy and team building as well as some exposure to the technology that is ubiquitous in today's world. The new Wii is showing some benefits in terms of physical activity and is being used by some physical therapists. Do a Google search on the benefits of video games and you will find reputable articles discussing the benefits of video games. But the dangers are there as well. It is beyond doubt and well documented that TV violence influences violence in children. While there is little research into the connection between video games and violence, can the link be weaker than it is in television viewing? A game in which your character engages in violence has to be as influential as TV. But the dangers seem to go beyond the potential influence these games may have on character.

A recent study at Stanford University demonstrated that the brains of males responded to video game playing more than the brains of females, and that the increased brain activity was in the pleasure center of the brain. While the number of participants were small (less than 25), this type of research demonstrates that games do effect the brain. Other researchers are suggesting that games influence brain development for the negative and the too much time in front of a screen makes children more easily distracting and increases the difficulty they have in remaining still. The ever increasing diagnosis of disorders like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder may suggest that the number of hours in front of highly stimulating objects may be compromising our children's ability to be attentive and to occupy themselves quietly. Computer and video games will only add to this problem. And there is the issue of video game addiction.

While the American Medical Association has decided that there is insufficient evidence to declare excessive video gaming an addiction, it is only because of a lack of sufficient research. There are many that believe in time, excessive video gaming will be a recognized disorder. There are clinics that are beginning to offer treatment for gaming addiction and there are support groups beginning to form to deal with the issue. Addiction seems to present itself most often with games associated with on line communities.

These games usually involve the development of characters. These characters can develop abilities and skills as well as accumulate weapons and other assets that are valuable in the game world. The development of these characters takes many hours to develop and make the game very engrossing. Combined with the possibility of interacting with others, these online games form a type of alternate world into which many escape. There have been recent stories of divorces, health problems, child neglects and even death associated with these games in particular. Is your child addicted? Ask yourself the following questions -

Does your child:

o play almost every day?

o often play for long periods (over 3-4 hours a time)?

o play for excitement?

o get restless and irritable if they can't play?

o sacrifice social and sporting activities?

o play instead of doing their homework?

o Try to cut down their playing but can't?

o Playing for increasing amounts of time?

o Thinking about gaming during other activities?

o Gaming to escape from real-life problems, anxiety, or depression?

o Lying to friends and family to conceal gaming?

o Feeling irritable when trying to cut down on gaming?

Answering yes to four or more of these questions suggests that there may be a problem. If there is a problem what can you do about it? Here are some resources to get your started on dealing with your loved one's potential problem.

1. Tips for Getting Video Gaming Under Control

National Institute on Media and the Family

Taming the Video Game Tiger

2. Computer Addiction Services

McLean Hospital

115 Mill Street

Belmont, MA 02478

Phone: 617-855-2908

Call or write for a local referral

3. Center for Internet Addiction Recovery

(Go to:www.netaddiction.com)

Lists of resources and helps for a variety of online addictive behaviors

4. Talk to your family doctor about your concern.

Troy L Parrish MA LCPC is a therapist in private practice in Columbia, MD. As the owner and editor of Boys Behavior, he is interested in fostering the appreciation of boys as unique, different from girls. As such they should be encouraged in the development of their masculinity rather than have that trained out of them. You can read more about video game addiction as well as other issues associated specifically with boys, from behavior and parenting to encouraging reading and spirituality. Visit http://Boysbehavior.com we are always giving away something for free, and we would love to hear from you.

Video games have become the number one choice for screen entertainment, surpassing TV/DVD viewing and movie-going. According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, 99% of boys, ages 12-17 and 94% of girls in the same age range play video games. Eighty percent play five or more different genres, with racing, puzzles, sports, and action being the most common. (1)

What they play, of course, determines whether the game is harmful or helpful to their developing minds and spirits. When kids play action-packed, fast paced, or violent video games, in particular, they increasingly need more powerful images in order to respond emotionally to the game. This is called stimulus addiction. The term "stimulus addiction" describes the habit that is formed as kids seek out more and more stimulating games to hold their interest. Instead of playing in their natural world, kids are spending more and more time playing in the artificially constructed world of video games.

Often kids start out with simple non-violent video games and move into increasingly violent games because violent games are the most stimulating. They require the part of our brain that reacts, rather than reasons. Violent video games focus on the constant need to destroy in order to stay in the game. Violent images increase arousal levels of neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) that excite and entice kids to keep playing. Video games today display more horrific violence, with sharp images and realistic graphics. Words, ideas, and images of brutality not ever imagined to be "entertainment" ten years ago currently fill up much of our kids' leisure time, habituating them to hyped stimulation in the process.

Although the fast pace and emotionally vivid images of manufactured horror are definitely habit-forming, even nonviolent games can become addictive.

Gamer addiction is a real tragedy of our times. Recently two parents expressed major concerns over too much time spent with video games:

A dad of a fourth grader overheard his nine-year old in conversation with a friend:

"I'll finish her off by ripping out her heart."

"No, cut off her head instead."

"But I want to rip her heart out."

"I want to see her head fly off."

"Oh, all right, let's see her head roll. There! Look at all that blood. Cool."

They were excitedly playing a video game they had just downloaded. This father felt lucky to overhear his son, disturbing as it was. He was able to steer the boys to non-violent games, more appropriate for their age and more in alignment with the family's values.

A mom of a fifteen year-old felt hopeless about what to do about her daughter staying up until two in the morning playing video games and not being prepared for school the next day. By coaching this mom to take the appropriate steps her daughter got back on track-with better grades and a much better attitude. It was a process that took a lot of will power on this mom's part. She stayed with it, despite difficulties, learning through the PCI? Coaching to reinforce positive behaviors and open up more appropriate possibilities for her daughter.

Online gaming, in the lives of too many high school and college students, takes precedent over academics, sports, hobbies, art, dance, and other forms of self-expression. researchers have found that a survey of 1500 teenagers indicated 25% were compulsive video gamers. Fifty per cent of those surveyed used the word "addiction" to describe a friend's gaming behaviors. Because excitement becomes the reward for playing and because the games are set up to reinforce behavior intermittently, they are extremely habit-forming, and even potentially addicting.

It's easy to get lost in the fantasy worlds of screen technologies. Now with hand-held video games children as young as four years old are playing video games-despite experts warning that this could be a very detrimental habit leading to dangerous life-long problems.

Parents, the good news is that there are focused strategies you can take to prevent stimulus addiction in our ever encroaching digital culture: Think carefully and act consciously. I will personally guarantee that these five seeming simple strategies are simply powerful. They can help your child or teen in profound ways.

Five Essentials for Preventing Internet and Video Game Addiction:

1. Keep kids curious about non-screen reality.

Game playing and web surfing often stems from boredom. Kids who don't know what to do end up in front of a video game console or a computer. Yet, if there were other things to do, he or she may easily choose an alternative. Keep a list handy of age-appropriate activities, including lots of books from the local library. By enticing kids to turn to other activities when bored, chances are they won't get into a video game habit. They will know how to entertain themselves without the need for hyped stimulation. Make your home an enriched environment for all sorts of creative and artistic endeavors. Do what fires you up, too--you light a spark in your children every time you enhance and use your own creativity!

2. Give kids more control through appropriate decision-making.

Responsible autonomy means that kids make decisions and feel a sense of control over regular daily decisions. Video games tap into kids' need for control. If they only feel in control when they are playing these games, then they will naturally want to play the games more often. Give kids decisions in which you can live with either choice. An example for a young child might be: "Do you want to wear the blue of yellow shirt today?" Both have long sleeves and will keep the child warm. An example for an older child or teen might be: "When is a good day for you to help me with dinner this week?" You acknowledge that the child's schedule is in his/her control-giving over this decision when you can be flexible about the outcome. The more your child or teen makes, values, and sees the effects of his/her decisions, the less likely he or she will be crave external stimulus to feel pleasure. Mindful activities will become more pleasurable as your child develops a strong sense of self through internal control.

3. Broaden kid's sources of excitement.

In video game play, the excitement is the reward. The "high" of reaching another level, killing off enemies, or quickly pushing the right button at the right time engenders a rush that feeds on itself. Direct reinforcement multiplies the excitement and pleasure. If video game playing is the only source of a child's or a teen's excitement-then other activities will go by the wayside. Gamer addiction happens because there are few opportunities in which the young person feels that level of excitement brought on by a video game. When children and tees are excited about a pursuit such as sports or art, music or academics, community service or church then they have other avenues in which to feel excitement about the outcome. One of the major jobs of parenting in a media age is for moms and dads to broaden opportunities for kids to use their skills and talents. The excitement of living and creating must become the reward.

4. Teach children how to go inside themselves.

When kids know how to meander in their internal landscapes, they are more self-directed. They can entertain themselves more easily. Give children and teens time to just sit and think-even if for only five or ten minutes at a stretch. Just a tiny practice starts the bud blooming. Kids will come to need this kind of "inside time." Before asking a question you can say, "Before you respond honey, I want you to take a minute to think about your answer." Consciously giving "think-time" provides a powerful model that it's important to take the time necessary to carefully consider an idea. Most video games are fast. They do not grow that part of the brain that is used in thoughtful reflection. This takes time. It's not a quick decision. By encouraging children and teens to do some slow pondering inside themselves, parents counter gamer addiction.

5. Help children stay connected to the 3-D world through lots of physical activity.

When Play Station commands: "Play in Our World"-you better believe they know what they're doing. This is a well-thought out phrase to make children and teens believers that the video game world is the best world to play in. As illogical it may seem to most adults, youngsters do not have the thinking capacity to understand the long-term ramifications of this ad on attitude formation and the manufacturing of a need. To be "cool" a person better "play in their world." Playing video games with our kids can go a long way to modeling proper use of this great tool for a fun time-out for the real-world. But like anything else, it's a question of balance. If kids aren't getting enough exercise outside, for instance, their lives are out of balance in favor of the screen-machine. If kids don't find their competence in various 3-D world activities, they might as well be tethered to the 2-D world. Parents who take a breather to kick or toss a ball, bike or hike, model for kids the value of life beyond a small screen. By nurturing our children's innate propensity to explore the natural world, parents move kids out of the world of video games and give them the know-how and the spirit to create a better world-a world we will all enjoy playing in!

Copyright, Gloria DeGaetano, 2010. All Rights Reserved.

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Reference

1. "Video-game-player saturation hits new level," Seattle Times, September 18, 2008, p. A6.

Gloria DeGaetano, http://GloriaDeGaetano.com/ is the Founder and CEO of The Parent Coaching Institute http://thepci.org/ is an internationally acclaimed educator, author, and speaker, who originated parent coaching as a profession. A best-selling author, Gloria has written Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill: A Call to Action Against TV, Movie, and Video Game Violence (with Lt. Col. Dave Grossman). Her latest book, Parenting Well in a Media Age, has won the 2007 i-Parenting Media Award for excellence. Ms. DeGaetano's books and articles have been translated into Spanish, German, Danish, Romanian, Korean, Chinese, and Turkish.